Jump to content
Coopers Community

Advice on dealing with Pale Ale induced flatulence.


MattB14

Recommended Posts

I have noted a definite correlation between drinking this fine ale and subsequent outbreaks of extreme flatulence. This upsets my wife. Should I try another wife?

 

I'm not familiar with Coopers "Another Wife". What style of beer is that?

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Another wife might fix the problem Matt, however I would not be too hasty in committing to one until you are sure she will be suitable for your needs.....oh and I wouldn't let the current one know you are trying some alterntives in case you fail to find a suitable replacement![roll]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Unfortunately, as tempting as it is, getting a new wife may not improve things at all. Please read the following tech support email:

Tech Support for Wife 1.0

 

Email to Tech Support

 

Dear Software Engineer,

 

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

 

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Smoking 10.3, Boozing 2.5 and Saturday Night Pubs 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications like Night Club 4.3, Dance 'n' Drunk 2.0 and Bachelor Party 7.77.

 

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the UN-install Does not work on this program. Once I tried to uninstall Wife 1.0 but got this error "General protection Fault in module House Security. The UN-installation will abort."

 

Can you help me, please!!!

 

Regards,

 

Desperate User

 

 

 

Reply from Tech. Support

 

Ref: Upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 Wife 1.0

 

Dear User,

 

This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is actually an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to Run everything.

 

It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to UN-install, delete, or purge Wife 1.0 from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system.

 

Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support" which was given to you at the time of registration with Wife 1.0. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\\>APOLOGIZE. In fact I would suggest you use this command every time Wife 1.0 crashes on your system. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0 or Movies 4.5, which will improve the performance of Wife 1.0.

 

Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

 

Best of luck,

 

Tech Support.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...
  • 2 years later...
  • 3 months later...

Be careful with the new wife idea, you may end up with one that drinks all of your homebrew and farts you out of house and home...

 

Just tell her that if she takes deeper breaths, she will use the aroma quicker, easy fix.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 years later...

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...