Hump Day Jokes

[Classic Brewing Co]

A mate sent me this, but I suspect it has been around for a while.

Let's put the seniors in jail and the criminals in a nursing home. This way the seniors would have access to showers, hobbies and walks. 
They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheelchairs etc. and they'd receive money instead of paying it out. 
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance. 
  
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them. A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell. 
  
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.   
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education. 
  
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request. 
Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.  
Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.   
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to. 
  
The "criminals" would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.   
Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week.   
Live in a tiny room and pay $900.00 per month and have no hope of ever getting out.   Justice for all we say.   
Think about this-more points of contention: 
  
THE AUSTRALIAN CONSTITUTION 
  
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Afghanistan   
Why don't we just give them ours? It was drawn up by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for centuries and we're not using it anymore. 
   
THE 10 COMMANDMENTS 
  The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse or Parliament, is this - 
  
You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal', 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians ..... It creates a hostile work environment.  
  It is time for us Australians to speak up!
 

[Oldbloke]