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Beer Funnies

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Hi guys.

 

With beer comes enjoyment. Enjoyment = Fun. So beer & fun are really part of a symbiant relationship. Hence "Beer Funnies". Well that's my backward, reversed mathematical view on their co-existence! biggrin

 

I just thought a few beer related GIF funnies might give a few on the forum a chuckle or two.

 

No.1: Impress the ladies beer trick FAIL...

 

1337187044_impressing_the_ladies_fail.gif

 

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No.2: What should be done to every Corona beer bottle...

 

1396813301_mini_cannon_blows_up_beer_bottle.gif

 

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No.3: If you're forced to drink crap beer, you may find this technique useful...

 

1319651181_drinking_a_beer_in_one_gulp.gif

 

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No.4: Beer slingshot FAIL...

 

1288113938_beer-slingshot-fail.gif

 

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No.5: My name is Earl: Breakdance beer drinking...

 

1282142180_dance-beer.gif

 

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No.6: If you are a little pressed for time...

 

1276798322_drinking-a-jug-in4-secs.gif

 

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No.7: Politically correct drinking...

 

513197-120825-inq-hawke.jpg

 

Our former PM Bob Hawke knew what it was all about. He hasn't lost that spirit either. biggrin

 

Here he is right amongst the public skolling a beer at each of the last two test series in 2013 & 2014.

 

2013: Bob Hawke @ 82 "One For The Country"

 

2014: Bob Hawke @ 84, January 2014 Sydney Ashes Test

 

I put this last bit up on Hawkey as I was recently told that Australian breweries collectively brewed their combined lowest total volume of beer over a 12 month period in a very long time in this country. That would never have happened on Bob's watch. I'd vote him back in a second. I remember things being a lot better in this country when he was in charge. rightful

 

If anyone has any Beer funnies, please feel free to post them here. They are always good for a laugh. coolwink

 

Cheers,

 

Anthony.

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Just a few funnies I came across today... a little edgy & politically incorrect. (Hopefully they survive!) unsure

 

I got sacked from my job as a bingo caller. Apparently " A meal for two with a hairy view" is not the way to call no 69!

 

Such an unfair world:- When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its $10.50/min (charges may vary).

 

Just booked a table for Valentine's Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though, she's crap at snooker..

 

Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God, I love my new taser!

 

If you get an email telling you that you can catch 'swine flu' from tins of ham then delete it. It's spam.

 

They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 1 minute and 15 seconds every 6 months is going to shift this beer belly.

 

biggrin

 

I left some others out that were probably a little too crude.

 

Cheers,

 

Anthony.

 

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I'd vote him back in a second. I remember things being a lot better in this country when he was in charge. rightful

 

You obviously had no home loan under Bob Hawke's reign then Anthony !

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Hi Ross.

I'd vote him back in a second. I remember things being a lot better in this country when he was in charge. rightful

 

You obviously had no home loan under Bob Hawke's reign then Anthony !

I'm hearin' you on that one. I'm not quite that old though! tongue

 

Yeah interest rates were quite high back then compared with today. What I would say in defense of that statement is' date=' comparably the dollar certainly went a lot further back then, than what it does today, & people generally seemed a lot happier about life.

 

Enough of the politics from me.

 

Cheers,

 

Anthony.[/size']

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G'day Anthony,

Yeah, I dunno about the dollar going further, they use a Holden car as a bit of a measure for that, I am not too sure just how that relates exactly at the moment, but in Bob Hawkes day it would take the average wage earner several years of wages to buy a standard Holden family sedan, now it is less than a years wages or about a years wages. As for people being happier then I don't know about that, we were usually happy and still are most of the time, life is what you make it.

I think the problem today is that people want to vote for personalities rather than politicians, that should have been pretty obvious when they kicked John Howard out and replaced him with Kevin 747!....anyway, enough of that , did you ever get to Cowell to catch some proper fish or are you still just catching bait?...wink We have moved to Port Lincoln now, I haven't done as much fishing as I would like, and what I have done would make your bait fish look like sea monstersbiggrin. I have only been shore based fishing until now, hoping to fix that soon.

Best wishes for the festive season.

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Yeah' date=' I dunno about the dollar going further, they use a Holden car as a bit of a measure for that, I am not too sure just how that relates exactly at the moment, but in Bob Hawkes day it would take the average wage earner several years of wages to buy a standard Holden family sedan, now it is less than a years wages or about a years wages.[/quote']

I remember the old boy telling me about when him and my mum bought their first house -- it was a bit less than 3 times his yearly wage at the time, and though mortgage rates were pretty close to 20%, plenty of other things were a lot cheaper than they are now.

 

As a kid (I'm well into my 30s now) we ate a lot of lamb because it was under $5/kg -- now it's a delicacy and you're lucky to get it under $10/kg (or you have to buy lots of it at a time). People used to swap bags of home-grown produce all the time because the average house block had room for vege gardens/chooks/a couple fruit trees. Couldn't go a few days without a friend/family member offering a shopping bag full of choko/cucumber/avocado/mangos/lemons/oranges/etc. Hated it at the time, but can't help looking back fondly now...

 

Anyway, we've probably hijacked the funnies thread... bandit

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Yeah' date=' I dunno about the dollar going further, they use a Holden car as a bit of a measure for that, I am not too sure just how that relates exactly at the moment, but in Bob Hawkes day it would take the average wage earner several years of wages to buy a standard Holden family sedan, now it is less than a years wages or about a years wages.[/quote']

I remember the old boy telling me about when him and my mum bought their first house -- it was a bit less than 3 times his yearly wage at the time, and though mortgage rates were pretty close to 20%, plenty of other things were a lot cheaper than they are now.

 

As a kid (I'm well into my 30s now) we ate a lot of lamb because it was under $5/kg -- now it's a delicacy and you're lucky to get it under $10/kg (or you have to buy lots of it at a time). People used to swap bags of home-grown produce all the time because the average house block had room for vege gardens/chooks/a couple fruit trees. Couldn't go a few days without a friend/family member offering a shopping bag full of choko/cucumber/avocado/mangos/lemons/oranges/etc. Hated it at the time, but can't help looking back fondly now...

 

Anyway, we've probably hijacked the funnies thread... bandit

 

As to house prices; I remember my folks telling me they bought the house I grew up in for about $10K.

They sold yesterday (admittedly there were some renovation and the like in the 80s and since) prior to auction; median price for a house in their suburb now: $1.448M.

I would expect that being now a 5 bedroom house with a double garage, spa, & 2 bathrooms etc, they would have exceeded the median price.

 

Meanwhile I continue to live in public housing with home ownership only possible if we win lotto, or some friend or family member unexpectedly leaves us a small fortune - chances of that, about the same as CUB making a beer that home & craft brewers would agree is a good beer.

 

We have a roof over our heads, and that's the most we can hope for, but ownership; not likely in this lifetime.

Thanks inflation, successive governments, and property developers for putting profits above equality.

 

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Hello to those with a still intact funny bone.

 

I was recently emailed a link to this video that I thought was both humorous & educational at the same time.

 

This link is part 2 of 4.

 

 

The world really needs more tour guides like this guy. cool

 

If you haven't seen it, enjoy. wink

 

Lusty.

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Hello to those with a still intact funny bone.

 

I was recently emailed a link to this video that I thought was both humorous & educational at the same time.

 

This link is part 2 of 4.

 

 

The world really needs more tour guides like this guy. cool

 

If you haven't seen it' date=' enjoy. [img']wink[/img]

 

Lusty.

 

Hey Lusty, is this bloke one of the missing Monty Python Circus crew? lol

 

"History is usually recorded by the winners, that's why there are so many empty pages in French History books" lollol

 

Oh and the inter-service rivalry jokes and innuendos, priceless, thanks' lollol

 

Cheers.

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Yep. Really good link, BoozeLover. Ta for sharing. I'll have to watch the other 3 parts now. And I love his approach to young kids too!

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This post isn't a link or anything like that, it's actually a short story a friend told me the other day.

 

Basically, she has this 'friend' on facebook who is always crapping on about brewing beer and/or other things, and from what I can gather, not very well. To be honest I don't think he knows the first thing about it. He claimed to be making a rum and bourbon mix the other day.. which I suppose is possible with essences, but anyway.. onto the main story.

 

He rents this house, which is high set and he'd put on this batch of beer somewhere in the upstairs area. At some point during the fermentation, the FV exploded, blowing a hole in the wall. His excuse was the beer was "too powerful". To make matters worse, it was on a timber floor, and directly underneath was storage of furniture and other items, which weren't his, and the beer found its way through the floorboards and soaked all this stuff underneath. So now he's got the damage to the wall to pay for plus all the stuff in storage that it soaked no doubt.lollollollol

 

It was a plastic FV, so I dunno WTF he's done to have that happen, but obviously somehow hasn't allowed any way for the gas created by the fermentation to escape the thing. This post would probably be at home in the fail thread, but since it wasn't my fail and I find it hilarious, I figured I'd put it here. lol

 

Cheers

 

Kelsey

 

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You just gotta love these people that know everything! About everything. biggrin

 

Yeah' date=' I can't believe Lusty blew up his FV [img']surprised[/img]

 

Sorry Lusty, that one was too easy and I couldn't pass it up tongue

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Resurrect on old thread.

I just thought this was funny...

🤣

Cheers,

Lusty.

  • Haha 3

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It's hard to find the right words...

LMAO will do.

Lusty.

  • Haha 3

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1 hour ago, Otto Von Blotto said:

Probably shouldn't laugh too hard, the poor bastard probably got killed under all that

The forklift stayed upright, so the cage would have protected him. He would have been a bit uncomfortable for a while though until they dug him out. They generally don't release vision of deaths in the workplace either.

Right at the end in the bottom left-hand corner, you see the top of a bloke who appears to just walk past like nothings happened. LOL

Cheers,

Lusty.

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I'm guessing he wouldn't be much good at ten pin bowling either...

....he left a few spares.

Cheers,

Lusty.

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Slightly overloaded shelving if it goes that hard.

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Not a beer funny but funny anyway. This fella at work was giving me the sh!ts last swing. I told him that I’d get him back and he wouldn’t even know I was doing it.

Anyway some new shirts and pants arrived for him. So I placed them in a 20l bucket, filled it with water and handed him a 20kg block of ice and clothes. 

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2

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