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LazyDave

3rd time unlucky

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I love Coopers, and I want Coopers merch. Today for the third time in my Coopers life I went to buy merch from the website.

 

My $100 budget was going good as I carted my way through the online store. I had enough 'red' goods to justify the treat, so off to checkout.

 

$46 postage!

 

50% markup on goods ordered, a mistake? Maybe I had broken through some kg barrier with that double up on the coopers glasses?

 

Thinking fast, I stick some home brew in my cart, 5 tins and some malt, it will probably cost the same to post right?

 

Wrong - postage now $81.

 

Hmmm $8 per tin to add to the order, ok get rid of those. Back to $46 postage.

 

Ok I'll try 1 can of malt, surely that will sneak in to the $46 barrier?

 

Postage $65!

 

$19 to have an $11 tin of malt added to my order?

 

I check the cigarettes I am smoking, no, nothing green in there, must be some other reason for this warped idea of math.

 

Remove tin of malt - postage $46

Add $5 bar runner - postage $51 (100% markup on bar runner)

Add set of glasses - postage $51 (the glasses are free to post?)

Add 7 sets of glasses - postage $71 (ok not so free)

Remove 3 sets of glasses - postage $56 (I can get 4 sets of glasses for $5 postage, but 7 sets will cost me $15)

 

Start again, back to original order of $100 - postage $46

 

Remove $3.50 fridge magnet - postage $41 (the fridge magnet was actualy costing me $8.50)

 

This was a fun game, but I could see that for the 3rd time in my Coopers life I would be saying goodbye to the merch page because postage makes no sense - I just never realised how much sense it didn't make until now.

 

Now last year I remember there was almost a give away of merch in certain venues around the brewery, $20 T-shirts costing $5 and $30 gift packs for $10 etc. None of these were available unless you were local. They were almost giving the stuff away because they were so overstocked. Could this be because nobody can afford or comprehend ordering on-line in the first place?

 

I went to 2 Coopers sponsored music festivals, Splendour in the Grass and Harvest Festival. Coopers beer was everywhere, but no merch stall.

 

How much would I like to be let loose in a Coopers merch stall with no postage to decipher? But no, it will never happen - it is but a dream.

 

I'm going to miss that bloody stout monkey, I reckoned I deserved one, just like the green Coopers T-shirt I fell in love with the last time I had to hit the exit button on my shopping cart. They are no longer available. I watched them being thrown out at $5 during the clearout that was impossible to get to. Coopers even sent me e-mails to taunt me about it.

 

So I walk away bewildered for the third time, and realise that Coopers merch is a falicy, that it will never be mine, and I should simply stop looking.

 

Maybe when they take the free beer samples away from the person that programs the postage algorythms, they can get in touch with me?

 

Until then, I don't actualy believe Coopers merch even exists, and if that seems far fetched, then I can safely say it may exist, but they have no intention of me or you getting our hands on it.

 

 

 

 

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I feel your pain Dave [crying]

 

Unfortunately, as much as I love Coopers, you don't really count unless you live in Adelaide (The majority of the newsletter contents are testament to this). The rest of us are merely tolerated...[innocent]

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Thanks for your support Woody.

 

I know this is a family business, but having the dog run the postage system is going a bit too far?

 

Surely the family cat could do a better job?

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Hey LazyDave,

 

Thank you for your post. Please accept our apologies for the inconvenience. We have investigated and discovered some issues with our Australia Post API calculations and our web developers are working hard to resolve the issue asap.

 

One of the main reasons we upgraded the online store was to ensure a better customer experience with better postage rates, much improved delivery times and ability to offer more frequent offers such as the Free Shipping Offer in December)unfortunately, this issue is not helping but we hope to have this issue resolved asap and we will be in touch when it has been.

 

However, in the meantime, please email store@coopers.com.au with the items you wish to purchase and we will be more than happy to look into the shipping rates and process the order over the phone should you still be interested.

 

Cheers

Coopers Store Customer Service.

 

 

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Good answer [biggrin]

 

Will e-mail asap

 

In an ideal world I would like to see a basic price for postage, say $10, and then the postage cost for each item listed next to the price for that item. The postal cost for each item would then be added to the $10.

 

This would take away the guesswork, and encourage a larger order to dilute the initial $10.

 

But I'm not sure there is an easy solution, my partner deals with a lot of parcel sending with her business, and the Australia Post system confuses more things than it solves.

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All sorted and delivered for reasonable cost - thanks for the customer service - I am now a proud owner of MERCH :)

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